Change is an inevitable part of our life. It happens whether we’re ready or not, sometimes it could happen at the times when we’re least ready for it. One of the secrets of living successfully is to learn to handle the changes we find coming our way. It is possible to learn to set our sail so that the winds of change blow us in the direction we choose rather than onto the rocks.
Most people like monotony in life, or let’s say they’re rather used to being comfortable with the same ol’ routine everyday. Who doesn’t? Oh, Cmon, that’s easier! But then for some changes are awaited, for those with dynamic personalities (well, personality is in itself dynamic) who are in need for constant change, find monotony boring. Well, someone like me, I would need some changes in life here and after all the time. Be prepared for a little but an interesting rant, about why changes are so important, it might change your perspective, you never know. 😉
Why I’m being so stubborn about the positive perception of change, is because it’s not always something detrimental, changes can equally be for one’s betterment. I want no other individual, but life to change me and make me a better person. I want none other but life to teach me lessons.
Positive changes are important, if not brought about in one way or the other could be dangerous for one. For example, an individual having social anxiety if keeps reassuring himself or herself about loving oneself and one’s company or embracing solitude and finding comfort in that he’d never be able to come out of it, only if he tries to bring in a change or try something new.
The root cause of most people to not accept changes readily is a ‘narrow mind’, or rather a conventional ideologist who keeps saying they’re the best until they die. It’s the entitlement one assumes internally and the assuming one’s opinions the most relevant which makes them oppose to changes and suggestions. It’s a cocktail of ego and conventionalism which makes people unacceptable to changes. Because they would be never in their unconscious aware of how positive changes could be at times. It’s the changing for the better rather than Changing oneself for others or society. They could mean two very different concepts.
There are mostly two types of changes, one which nature brings upon and nobody has a say on it, say death or a traumatising event, the other are those which we are capable to bring about and to adapt to changes as well. Both are necessary and essential, provided god has set somethings already for you, what happens, happens for the best. The negative one is the inflicted change we’re talking about, one to conform to societal norms and to be accepted, that’s the kind of a change we’d like to keep ourselves apart from. If the balance between the three is kept, the individual lives in harmony, and if one’s not they’ll stick with their perception of being the best. The characteristics of those people would be such as they would be entitled, rude, adamant and not at all flexible, irritable, challenging and difficult to deal with, not easy to convince, aggressive most of the times, and opinionated.
As we all are aware of the notion of imperfection, and that nobody’s perfect, changes brought about to elevate oneself and to be attuned with themselves better are necessary. Most of the great personalities go through a lot in life, which in turned changed themselves through the course and made them whatever they are now. They come out like fine grained wheat, capable of handling adversities in the face of life.
On top of that, self help books popularise the notion of NOT CHANGING ONESELF in whatever circumstances, and I can’t even comment more on how generalised shit it is. All they provide is just false reassurance, validation and made up acceptance which people have failed to get in real and are trying to seek it through a book which makes it even worse, because they generalise it and apply it without thinking once and for all! The primitive need of feeling secured and accepted is the one which makes them do it according to the human actualisation theory. Those are just money making gimmicks for naive people, the sooner you understand the better it is. It should be the experience which should preach and not just a man claiming they’re self made but are hiding their decks of money they just debited recently from their dad’s bank account and living through it
Sometimes changes are natural and then sometimes you’d have to out there in order to know yourself better, and time and situations would do their magic. Moreover personality is dynamic, no one person remains the same as they were born like. I was adamant about me being that way and not changing for good, but when I had to move places and when I struggled due to this I understood how much peer support as well as familial support is important. You CANT survive yourself, if I may say so. You will need people because we’re humans and not some enlightened godly creatures who can get away from it. Believe me when I say so I still Don’t like socialising but I’m changing for the good. People aren’t as bad as you think, it’s just that you haven’t met the right kind of people,you get to learn from everybody. And so as you teach and influence people for the better.
You might still have social anxiety, who knows? Sometimes I feel like I do too, but is it because I MYSELF have forced me to kept aloof from people just because my vehement thoughts ask me not to change? the answer is within you, but sometimes people bring out that for you easily. It’s not that people define you, you’ve already defined yourself as your ideal self. Now ask yourself, does it correspond with your real self?
This is something which I wrote to my friend, over which we were discussing about the changes in life.
We never know what’s right, or wrong in any situation except the ultimate reality (if you believe in) even that’s a question. The truth which seems so true can be misleading whereas the falsehood may hold truth which we never know now, but could be proved in the future. People have different ways of living and ethics and ideals, so different things work for different people. What I may apply on, wouldn’t necessarily work for you and vice versa. We’re all just like the sailors in a stormy sea with different strategies to survive.
Isolation leads you to deeper thinking. Although I have understood the importance of the people in my life and I spend time with them as much I run my daily hassles. I never realised how much important my friends were, and how much important friends are in general for an individual until I lived through not having a strong and deep relationship/friendship. If I have now, I say with that experience of how much stronger that makes me feel from inside. Its the bias ness towards each other which governs and directs our behaviour with everybody. It’s just that these behaviours and feelings are so mutual and ingrained in our unconscious that we’re most of the times unaware of it. But don’t let that bias ness in you not let deliver the actually reality (again there’s no reality just perspectives) so there’s this circular never ending cycle , but i believe dealing with such issues forthrightly and from conscience Is the best way to bring a solution.
The last suggestion is to have a dynamic for change—Jesus Christ.
Lastly, prepare for setbacks. They will come. If we are prepared for them, we will not be so easily discouraged by them. Remember that everyone who accomplishes anything worthwhile experiences setbacks. Life just seems to be designed that way. And I think that is to keep the undeserving from getting the best life has to offer. Those things are reserved for the ones who persevere and triumph.